Monday, May 20, 2013
The sad state of my soul today
I hate writing this post. But I'm just being completely honest about the fact that I haven't gone to church in the past 3 weeks. (No, I am not recommending this to anyone). We have been completely consumed with trying to close on our house which is 1 hour away in the country and 1 hour away from work in the city, so it's been one continuous commuting triangle - driving between 3 different far away cities trying to get the kids to school and get to work on time and meeting contractors and loan officers and Realtors and notaries and going to Lowe's to buy locks to secure the house so the painters don't come back to steal the copper pipes or the microwave - the weekends being the only real time to accomplish anything of substance. A lame excuse, and I feel guilty about this. I know it is a mortal sin to miss Mass on Sunday. That sounds severe if you are a non-Catholic, but this "rule" ensures that we are putting God first in our life. There is a natural flow and order and a "glue" so to speak, that holds our family and our marriage together when we are obedient to the Church. No matter how bad things get - we have that constant, that we go to Church together as a family on Sunday (or in our case, usually Saturday evening.) And that is missing right now, or being replaced by worrying about getting our new house in order. I realize without God we really have nothing. A few days ago I had cleaned out my car and stuck some of my work papers and my new leather bound Bible in an empty diaper box in the front seat of my car. It has been over a week since I cracked open my Bible. (Again, not exactly a recommendation here...) I went to retrieve it last night, and the way it was leaning over, it had fallen over and bent back the leather/paper cover and now has a huge ugly unforgiving crease across the front cover that will never come out. I just thought this was so depressing. I need to get my butt to confession and back to Mass.