Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Just Another Update Post

Well, sometimes it's nice to just write without too much of a purpose... So get ready, because that is what I am doing right now. :-)
So, last post I was complaining about my friend who was not exciting about helping me watch my kids for my doctor's appointment. I'm over it. But I'm excited that I was able to work something out instead... scheduling later afternoon appointments on selected days, so that I will be able to drop the little kids off at my husband's work (after school) and he will be able to get home just in time for my oldest one to get dropped off by the school bus. (Oh yeah, my oldest is riding the school bus again... it is just working out better that way, and the high school boy is NOT riding the bus anymore after my conversation with the superintendent.) So, for now, 2 problems are solved. I'll go in for my first appointment on October 14th. I asked for early blood work because my Progesterone levels are always so low (~9.5) they are always in amazement that I have been able to carry 3 pregnancies to term. In the past, I've been on early Prometrium supplements. This time, I'm not. I'm also NOT feeling as sick. (I am always really sick with all day vomiting.) But this time, I have only thrown up a few times... Still nauseous as all get out, but I'm much much much "better" than all 3 of the previous times. So, hoping, maybe? It's because it is BOY and not because I'm going to lose this pregnancy. I can't really sit around and worry about it, but it keeps crossing my mind. I'll definitely feel some relief once I get lab work and an ultrasound.

I didn't report that we received an offer on the home we are trying to sell, which was an answer to many prayers, as we plunged forward into this risky home-buying venture right before I quit my job. We are really over extended and ended up having to drop our sales price almost $20k to get a contingent offer. The buyers backed out this evening because the seller on their home couldn't get financing. Now I am one step away from panic mode. We do really need to sell our house. I'm trying to be patient, but the situation is getting more urgent for us. Hopefully we will have no delays in getting the buyers to sign the proper release forms so that we can get the home back on the market again, pronto! I don't mind walking away from all this with credit card debt, which we can deal with later and over time, but we are currently in a situation where we cannot make monthly ends meet and the reserves are (almost) gone, so we have to stop the bleeding. I thought we would have sold our home by now, but I think the market is a little weaker than I had anticipated.

My girlfriend from Seattle, an old best friend from high school is coming to visit me on Wednesday! I can't wait, and I haven't seen her in years! She is coming out of the blue, for one day to catch up with me and to meet my kids. I'm so excited. She was explaining to me on the phone how now that medical marijuana is completely legal in her state, that it is "everywhere" and smoke shops are popping up all over the place with medical marijuana cookies and muffins and treats. Not sure what to make of that, but I declined her offer to bring me some treats. (She was joking, I am pretty sure, but not 100% sure, because she was not into that at all in high school/college and if you got caught with that stuff here in Ohio, well, you would probably be serving jail time...) I was trying to "warn" her that the closest Starbucks is over 1 hour away from where I live and that I now live out in the middle of nowhere. She also hasn't seen me since my "Catholic renewal" so we haven't explicitly talked about it. I hope it doesn't make her feel uncomfortable. I hope this visit goes well, she is such a cool person, and very liberal. Back in high school, I was the wild one, and she was quite conservative. Now, I think the roles have reversed somewhat? Either way, it is only for one day and night, and we should have a great time catching up.      

Well, I'm signing off, to the 3.5 people who read my blog, HA HA, thanks for reading! :-) :-) :-)

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Disappointed by a friend

I have a girl friend who I met a long time ago when we were both getting our Ohio Real Estate licenses. That was ages ago, when I only had one child and was not religious at all. You could say at that stage, my #1 passion was achieving sales super stardom. Well, we clicked at that point in our lives, and became close and this friend has seen me go through massive transitions, many of which probably do not make any sense to her, from becoming very devout in my Catholic faith, developing a love for the Bible, becoming open to having more children even though I am not really the "mom type", quitting multiple successful careers on a whim, my eco-breastfeeding and co-sleeping while she is more of the structured "Ferber-Method" mother, and moving out to the middle of nowhere like a crazy person, and she has continued to be a good friend to me! She is still in Real Estate and is currently helping me sell my old house. She has 2 older kids and graciously gives me oodles of awesome hand me downs and kids toys!!! It's always like Christmas for our family when she cleans her house.  (That's not why I'm friends with her, but I'm just saying this is a blessing for our family, of which I am thankful.) Anyway, I am struggling now with starting to feel horrible in my early pregnancy and not really wanting to find a new doctor. I was thinking about driving an hour away to stay with the same doctor who delivered all my other babies via C-Section, because I have familiarity with him. I'm worried about logistics, trying to figure out how I am going to handle 3 kids + a new born, with no friends, no close family, and no support network close by. I had a flashback to 2 years ago - the last time I had two young kids in a pre-natal appointment, while I was lying on the table trying not to throw up and the baby was crawling around the room literally tearing everything up, and the toddler crying, and the nurses running about trying to bribe my kids with suckers, well, I just don't want to repeat that experience, it wasn't good. I had the "light bulb" idea that I would ask my long term girlfriend, to do me a favor. My kids are always good while strapped in their seats in the mini-van. There is a DVD in the mini-van. I could let her sit in the car for 15 minutes or so, pop in an Elmo CD, and she could make phone calls while I go in for my first pre-natal appointment which is already way over due. I even offered to by her lunch. I can get the anti-nausea medication which I desperately need and blood work and/or ultrasound to make sure this is a viable pregnancy. No big deal, right? I hate asking for favors, but there really is no one else I know to ask this of. So I asked her. Dang, you would you have thought her reaction was to donate a kidney or something... she was obviously taken off guard, "Well.. ummmm, I can't do it Mondays, or Fridays. Tuesdays are bad, and Wednesdays are out. Well, definitely not in the Spring, and I can't do it on Thursday Oct 10 or 31st... but other than that...." was basically her response. I was getting the vibe that this was a really big deal and that it was a huge mistake to ask her and regretted it immediately. Then I thought, maybe she was worried I would take advantage of her for *every* prenatal appointment or that I would somehow overtake her life with doctor's appointments and dentist appointments and massages and haircuts. (I really was just thinking about this first appointment, or perhaps not even thinking at all.) Anyway, 2 days elapsed and I still couldn't bring myself to make the appointment. She asked me today if I made the appointment and I said, "Oh, as soon as I asked, I regretted it... I could tell that you really aren't up to it." And she kind of made some excuse about having something else on her mind that day, and then said she could help me just this once but then had to add in a, "Well, what if the baby cries..." (Oh man, call me hormonal, but I was just getting extra mad at that point... and pretty much ended the phone call.) The thing that hurts the most is that I thought I could rely on her for something silly like this. (And I know she would do it, but does she have to make it into such a big deal? Come on!) Forget it, I'm actually thinking about putting my younger kids into part time day care so I can go solo to my pre-natal appointments. I'm trying to ask the neighbor if their 12 year old daughter can babysit for 3 hours after school so I can do this. I'm disappointed that my long term girlfriend is not as close of a friend as I had given her credit for. I think our friendship must be pretty shallow. I also think perhaps amidst all the crazy changes I've made in my life, I'm about to cross the "great divide" into having 4 kids. (You know with 3, you are still "normal"... especially since we have all girls and obviously must have been "trying for a boy", right?). I'm actually feeling cautious to tell certain people now, even more so because I am almost 40 and well, there are those out there who will think this is irresponsible and risky. I dunno. My girlfriend has her two perfectly behaved kids and a really nice structured life. They have lots of money and take big fancy trips to Europe every year. Perhaps my messy, poopy, poor, chaotic, diaper-filled, unglamorous life is not very appealing to her at all. I just thought for sure she would have said, "No Problem!". I'm still her friend, and I'll try to get over this quickly, but I am not going to ask her for help with my kids again, it just made me feel too bad.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Why High School Students Shouldn't Ride The Bus With Elementary School Kids

So, I know I haven't posted in a while, and have been suffering from a bit of "writer's block".  I started a post a few weeks ago about how my 2nd grade daughter sat next to a 17 year old, (yes, a 17 year old) on the school bus ride home, and he asked her to play "Kiss or Dare".  I just deleted that post because I don't think it quite came out right... but can you BELIEVE that? She declined the game, but they did have a 45 minute conversation, and from what my daughter told me I could tell that he was trying to manipulate her na├»ve innocent little mind to make some kind of "move" on my 7 year old. (Needless to say, I freaked out and called the principle and superintendent and that boy is not on the bus anymore.) Some crazy Ohio law about all kids needing transportation and since we live in a rural area, there is 1 high school student that needs to be bused home with the elementary school children on our bus in the afternoon. Of course, he would sit next to MY child. Thank God she mentioned her "new friend" to me that evening while I was giving her a bath. (If I wouldn't have asked...and intervened....this could have easily become a really bad situation.) I just couldn't believe this happened. I've been picking her up from school everyday since then. I was also concerned for the other young little girls riding the bus, as some of them are even younger than my daughter. Anyway, I get angry just writing this, so I won't go on.

On a happier note, I somehow got it in my head that I wanted to do a week-long organic juice fast. (I really want to drop about 15 pounds or more from my last pregnancy, but haven't been able to do it... Actually, I haven't honestly tried hard enough yet, but felt that now is the time.) I decided for peace of mind to just confirm that I wasn't pregnant first, so I bought some 99 cent pregnancy tests from Dollar General. Well... 2 of the tests WEREN'T NEGATIVE!!! Wow. I'm a little surprised, and it's very early to be spilling the beans... I haven't even been to the doctor yet. I think I'm only 4 weeks pregnant. I pray that this is a viable pregnancy and that since I've been eating healthier since we moved out here, that maybe (I doubt it, but I can dream, right?) that my debilitating morning sickness that accompanies my pregnancies will be a little more manageable than the last 3 times. It's just too early to tell, but right now, I feel good. Please keep us in your prayers!

God Bless!