I'll spare the gory details... but I am fed up with my job. Right now I hate it.
I'm committed to putting in a 40 hour work week, and dealing with a 2 hour commute every day. And I realize this comes at a cost, and it is my family, and my health, that suffers for it. I also realize it brings many blessings (not really for me at all, but for my family), which I've talked about on here before, and that is why this is a difficult thing to just walk away from.
But I've really had it.
A new position, which is much much more visible and demanding. (No official promotion, though, just a lot more work and a lot more stress, yeah, one of those kind of deals...)
I can't take having to work every evening for hours after the kids go to bed, just so I can "keep up".
I can't take crying in the bathroom anymore because something isn't working and I'm already past the deadline, and I've had no training, and I've been thrown into something beyond which I can handle.
I can't handle feeling like a failure anymore.
I can't handle putting my husband and kids on the backburner.
I can't handle my two year old calling me "daddy" because she sees so little of me.
I can't handle the stress this is causing on my marriage because of built up resentment towards my husband because I hate my job. (And his built up resentment towards me from lack of intimacy, because I am too tired, from lack of taking care of the house, because I am never here, and from in-general all the things I should or could be doing that I can't because I am tied up trying to wrap up yet another 'urgent' work item.)
I can't handle spending more money on daycare than on my mortgage and 2 car payments, combined.
My company is sucking the life out of me.
Every week now since my daughter started CCD, I have met yet another homeschooling mom. Great for them, but it's driving me crazy with jealousy.
I used to think that this was "my cross to bear" and have been trying for the past 4 years to make the best of my situation, but now I am not sure why God would even want me to stay here. I've already learned to swallow my pride, I have been humbled. I have learned to accept people that I have strongly disliked. I have learned not to judge others as much.
Not sure where this is all leading, but it's just where I am at right now. Please say a prayer for me.
OK, sorry if you get this comment twice. You are in my prayers. Your pain is so real and so valid. I have felt this very same emotion before. My family has been praying for God to make it possible for my husband to get a new job making more money so that I can stay home. I believe in the power of prayer and scripture tells us to pray the desires of our hearts and God will answer them (as long as our desires are aligned with His will). There is no prayer to big for God. I find hope and comfort in Luke 11:5-13. God tells us to pray with persistence. I will pray for you and your family. May you find peace in your position and have faith in God's desire to give you great gifts.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say thanks for your prayers and your comment offered a lot of consolation this morning! I will pray for your situation also.
Deleteprayers
ReplyDeleteI can completely empathise with you CatholicMom - I was working in a job that just sucked the life out of me too. I was in a 'good' sales job and making 'good' money but it wasnt what I wanted to do any more and my boss kept demanding more and and more from me. I came across a great site that helped me with my transition to happyness and sanity. I thank God every day. Try http://www.jobinterviewtipsclub.com/I-hate-my-job.html
ReplyDeleteIt will also help you with job interviews as well. Personally I set up my own business and I now run a small crafts company and LOVE what I'm doing. There is no commute and I can fit child care around my hours or vice versa. It's all about aligning your job to your values.
I hope and prey that this is helpful and wish you much happiness!
Best wishes,
Joanne
I am sorry I have just read this. I will keep you in my prayers. I had a terrible job for a few years, one I just got promoted out of about 6 months ago. It was horrible. My kids hated my job because I cried when I was at home. So, it's not completely the same, but I get the idea.
ReplyDeletePrayers for you.
are you me???!!!! this IS my story right now too, and I also need so many prayers, , its not really the job itself i hate, but somehow all the people i started working with have gone and the ones left are horrible most of the time, not just that my husband just had a tonsillectomy at the age of 57,and the stress of my life is almost unbearable, i just dont get hat God wants me to do... but I promise, your story on this day, is a mirror of mine, (although i am older, my kids are grown up, with kids of their own, ) i will say a rosary for us both tonight!
ReplyDeleteare you me???!!!! this IS my story right now too, and I also need so many prayers, , its not really the job itself i hate, but somehow all the people i started working with have gone and the ones left are horrible most of the time, not just that my husband just had a tonsillectomy at the age of 57,and the stress of my life is almost unbearable, i just dont get hat God wants me to do... but I promise, your story on this day, is a mirror of mine, (although i am older, my kids are grown up, with kids of their own, ) i will say a rosary for us both tonight!
ReplyDelete