I struggle with this. I gotta write a blog post about my Mass experience with this today. It's hard not to notice that at almost every single "modern" Catholic parish these days, more and more people hold hands during the Our Father.
You probably understand what I am talking about.
It is all very Protestant, in my opinion.
I just reverently fold my hands, look downward, and say my Our Father. All well and good right? But... Is this Pharisaical? I don't want to judge anyone... If the Holy Spirit is moving them to all hold hands, who am I to judge them? Or diminish their prayer experience? I try not to. I don't think most priests care, or at least don't seem to mind.
Bishop Foy of Covington minds. He caused quite a stir a little over a year ago when he issued the following document within his diocese as a call to stop liturgical abuse and correctly implement the new Roman Missal. Check out the bottom of page 3 of his letter. "...therefore the extending or holding of hands by the faithful should not be performed." He is very clear about it.
I just searched for more information on what the GIRM (General Instruction of the Roman Missal) has to say about this and came across this document. (A good read). Hmmm, maybe I need to lighten up?
But today, a woman a few pews up was holding her hands VERTICALLY UP TO THE SKY, in such an exaggerated fashion, I just couldn't help to look and think, "What On Earth is she DOING???" ...
(Imagine somebody doing the YMCA dance, and jumping up at the letter "Y" and freezing in that position... it was like THAT and I have never seen anything remotely like that position done in a Catholic church before... this was a first.) It was so odd, in fact, I had to sneak a look at her while I was walking down the communion line. I was so distracted by her. (God, I only hope I have never caused this kind of distraction by kneeling for communion in a parish that doesn't normally do that, or by wearing an occassional veil when nobody else does that.) Whether liberal or conservative, when you are sticking out from the crowd, well you are really sticking out and people do notice.
But one thing I couldn't help to see when I stole a glance her way passing by, was the smile and a look of pure joy on her face. This woman truly was communing with the Holy Spirit and seemed to be in a very happy place. (Happier than me, for sure!) Well, good for her. I certainly wasn't going to say anything to her about her bizarre hand gesturing. I just hope she doesn't start a new trend, as I'm trying hard enough to deal with all the normal families holding hands in the regular way.
What do you all think about this? Yeah, or Nay, or No big deal and to each their own? Do you hold hands with your family? Do you raise them up (like the priest does)?
Do you raise them ALL the way up and do the YMCA?Peace be with you! :-)
I do what you do...keep my hands to myself and pray the Lord's Prayer. Actually, it's not a huge deal in my parish for people to hold hand, though. And people making exaggerated gestures would stand out at our parish. But I don't judge people who do (at least I try not to!)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment! It is nice to know that there are others out there who keep their hands to themselves...
DeleteI'm so glad you talked about this! I often wondered about it as well. My inlaws do it at church - the first time that my husband and I sat with them, I was hoping that my father in law didn't reach for my hand! But they do it at mass each time we recite the Our Father and I see many others do the same. If there's a family of 4 or 5, they are all holding hands as well. Right down the line. A chain all connected. I haven't seen anyone hold their hands out as you've referenced above - thank goodness because I might find myself chuckling - but I have seen individuals holding their hands out in front of them, raised a little bit. I'm going to share this with my mother in law now.. I really want to read that article.
ReplyDeleteHi Dawn, Thanks for sharing your experience. Yes, I was glad that I was alone at Mass that day because if my hubby was there, he would have DEFINATELY said something to make me start laughing, and that would not have been good...
DeleteI am not a mom, but this is a subject that really get sunder my skin. I attend a parish in Middle Georgia. At Mass this morning, I could count on one hand the number of people I saw who were not holding hands. I do get disapproving looks from people from time to time when I do not hold hands, and it used to bother me so much that I stopped attending Mass on a regular basis. Now when we sing the Lord's Prayer, I simply put my hands in prayer position and recite the prayer. Actually, the most difficult part is explaining to my 10 year old why I do that, especially since he attends Catholic school and this Protestant hand-holding has turned into a local custom. One explanation I heard is that holding hands shows unity. Well, doesn't attending Mass in and of itself indicate unity with our faith?
ReplyDeleteDo people in your parish also extend the right arm when the priest blesses those who are going to attend to the sick? That was another issue to explain to my son. I told him I was not a priest, therefore I cannot bestow a blessing by extending my arm. I left out the part about it looking like a Nazi salute.
Hello Anonymous Dad, I am very glad you commented. Please don't let the hand holding stop you from attending The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass! I have recently started looking down and closing my eyes while I pray to not judge the others and also to avoid seeing any disapproving looks because I am not being "in community". My 6 year old also notices the others and has asked, "Why, mommy? Why does everyone do that?" I simply told her, "I don't know why, but WE don't because the POPE doesn't. Only the Priest should be raising his hands above his waist like that." (And that answer seemed good enough for my kid.) We also sit in the same spot every week so I think people just get used to the fact that we are doing our own thing. You can show all the "unity" you want to during the sign of peace, right?
DeleteThank goodness the right arm Nazi Salute does not get extended regularly in our church, but I have seen the "Hail Hitler" move at other parishes at various times during the Mass, which tend to contagiously spread until you have entire sections doing the "Hail Hitler"... My young daughter even went to copy that one once (at a parish across town that we go to on a rare occassion if we need a late sunday pm. Mass.) and I just told her to put her arm down, and that even if every single person in the congregation was holding their arms up like that, that we need to be the ones to show others the correct way to pray.
Keep The Faith! :-)
Everyone in my church holds hands. They shake hands at the beginning of the mass and again before Communion. They do the Nazi salute also.
DeleteThe guitarist is beyond annoying with his "moves" to the beat,! In addition the choir sings a song that reminds me of "If I Were A Rich man" from Fiddler On The Roof? HELP!
I fold my hands in prayer and bow my head and close my eyes. Then others know I'm not into hand holding. Im not sure who started that business but it's not necessary. It definitely seems evangelical.
ReplyDeleteOrans posture is very protestant... and we are told that absolutely only the priest is supposed to do it, not the deacon, not nobody not no how... it is a pet peeve of mine. I only really learned about 2 years ago when a friend introduced us to traditional mass and opened a whole new world to us and took us leaps and bounds further in our understanding of the faith, philosophy and depth.
ReplyDeleteI understand, and try to empathize, since it wasn't that long ago that I was doing it myself. But what is the mentality there? Funneling the holy spirit with your arms? Whats going on?
What can be difficult for me is that while not in the interest of being in orans posture, I want to hold hands. Not with everyone necessarily... but through out my life when my family prayed together they held hands, whether around the table, or in church (not Catholic, and not a hold handing type church), even if it was just me and my mom. I don't see it as NECESSARY, but there is that draw there and I wonder about it. What is it communicating and what what does it mean to me? Though I there may be a difference in me discreetly holding my husbands hand during the Lords Prayer vs a whole family standing around holding hands, at least in what it communicates to the people around us.
Thankfully I have never seen the hitler salute in mass! sounds weeeiiirrrd.
I agree with everything you have written. A family holding hands is one thing (no big deal, really), but when someone from 2 pews in front of you starts walking over and takes your hand when you are lost in prayer... (that actually happened to me once...! But it was a very old man, and he was alone.. and for as much as I was COMPLETELY PUT OFF by this... I couldn't help but think this may have been the only source of human contant the poor man got the entire week.. he was determined to grab my hand.) What would Jesus do? He would probably of held the guy's hand. Ugh. But too much hand holding and talking during Mass, and (I know I am preaching to the choir, heheh) and you end up with a social hour. This is why the traditional mass is wonderful... you know what you are going to get. Too bad my kids are so bad in church, I can't take them to a TLM very often without wanting to fade away in embarassment. When does it start to get easier?
DeleteOrans posture is very protestant... and we are told that absolutely only the priest is supposed to do it, not the deacon, not nobody not no how... it is a pet peeve of mine. I only really learned about 2 years ago when a friend introduced us to traditional mass and opened a whole new world to us and took us leaps and bounds further in our understanding of the faith, philosophy and depth.
ReplyDeleteI understand, and try to empathize, since it wasn't that long ago that I was doing it myself. But what is the mentality there? Funneling the holy spirit with your arms? Whats going on?
What can be difficult for me is that while not in the interest of being in orans posture, I want to hold hands. Not with everyone necessarily... but through out my life when my family prayed together they held hands, whether around the table, or in church (not Catholic, and not a hold handing type church), even if it was just me and my mom. I don't see it as NECESSARY, but there is that draw there and I wonder about it. What is it communicating and what what does it mean to me? Though I there may be a difference in me discreetly holding my husbands hand during the Lords Prayer vs a whole family standing around holding hands, at least in what it communicates to the people around us.
Thankfully I have never seen the hitler salute in mass! sounds weeeiiirrrd.
Good to know I am not alone in my aversion to all the gesturing at Mass. They shake hands at the beginning of mass and before Communion in my church. The Nazi salute is here also. People seem to love it all! A soloist also sings a song that reminds me of "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on The Roof." The guitarist is a a cool dude with cool moves as he "feels" his music. I am looking for another church.
ReplyDelete