Yes I am still Alive!

Wow, Yes, I am here! It really has been 7 months and I haven't even posted. Sometimes life is so crazy (or so mundane?) that you just can't bring yourself to post. I don't want to abandon my blog completely, so how about a few picture updates for you all?

My Baby Boy was born on Cinco de Mayo, May 5th, 2014! Wow... Introducing....

Isaiah Anthony Miller, weighing in at 8 pounds and 13.8 ounces. He is one mellow little boy, compared to my girls. He cries less, sleeps more, and breastfeeding has gone better than all previous babies. Go Isaiah! I need an easy one. (My two year old is keeping my wayyyy too busy.) 

I survived my 4th C-Section! (Praise God.) Recovery is going slow, but I think, OK. On the operating table we asked if "We could do this again", and the doctor said "Yes." (Not that I particularly want to think about that right at this moment, but we wanted to know for the future, "What if???") After being asked 150+ times if I was going to tie my tubes, and is this "It?" and "I am done now, Right?", by everyone from bank tellers, random strangers, the supermarket cashiers to the nurses, to friends and family members, ugh. I know I am on the cusp of 40... I know I have finally gotten my opposite gender child on the 4th attempt. I am supposed to get fixed now, according to cultural norms. But we aren't giving anyone the satisfaction... and it just seems to infuriate and bewilder so many when you respond with "Well, we'll see... " :-)  I wish I was 10 years younger, though... 

I weighed 3 pounds more coming out of the hospital than going in... due to edema and all the fluids they pump you up with... 

Here's a beautiful shot of my fluid filled feet: (Gross, I know!) 

Thankfully, I did end up losing 20 pounds in 3 days, as all the fluid finally decided to start leaving. Now I only have 30 more to go!

My oldest daughter, Lauren, received her First Holy Communion!  I am so proud of her.

 

Don't let our sweet looks fool you, we are still a handful to take to Mass!

Here are a few more baby shots, Just Because...

Thank you for visiting my blog! May God Bless You All today!

The Evolution of 3 C-Sections

I have had 3 Cesarean Section Births.

With my first child I was hoping to experience a vaginal (possibly un-medicated) delivery. I was very excited and nervous. I was also pretty naive... I was a week over due and my baby was showing up apx. 10 pounds on the ultra sound estimation. My doctor wanted to induce me, and was worried that I would have an 11+ pound baby. I didn't think or know to say "No"... and just went with my doctor's recommendations. I figured he knew best, he has delivered thousands of babies. After the induction, and 19 hours of labor, there was not enough progression, the beginnings of fetal distress, and meconium was detected once my water was broken. I had to have a C-Section, my doctor said. I cried, and begged him to let me labor for 2 more hours. He consented, but I heard him say, "Prep Her..." to the nurse as he walked out the door. My worst fear was coming true. (Waiting two more hours didn't do any good, even though I did everything I could to try to further the labor.) I was petrified of undergoing this surgery. I was absolutely terrified!!! When it was time immediately before the birth and the doctor said, "Are you ready for your baby?" I said "No! Please give me something..." I did not want to be crying out of sadness during the birth of my first child. I was given some sort of sedative which made everything kind of fuzzy. My daughter was healthy and beautiful but I felt like a failure and was consumed with guilt and fear over it all. It was rather traumatic. I suffered postpartum depression, and nursing did not go well, probably due in large part to the circumstances of the birth. The recovery was slow, although not nearly as bad as I had anticipated.

With my second child, I wanted very much to try a VBAC. My doctor said there was a 70% chance I could do it and that he would be supportive of my choice and that I would not be induced due to chances of uterine rupture. He also mentioned that there was a risk, a very small risk, that I could experience a rupture. This scared the hell out of me. He said in a worst case scenario, (in the case of a rupture), I might need an emergency hysterectomy, or my baby could end up on a ventilator for the rest of her life. There were many positive stories of wonderful VBACs out there, and I spent hours reading the many positive stories, and a few not-so-happy stories. In the end, I knew my daughter was a big baby (~9 lbs) and I chickened out and opted for an elective c-section. I did not want a repeat of my first experience... the uncertainty, the hours of labor, the disappointment of another failed vaginal delivery. The 2nd time I was mentally prepared. I was calm during the experience, but I was still pretty scared of the operation. The recovery was much easier than I thought.

With my third child, I knew I would be choosing an elective c-section. My doctor would not support a VBA2C (Vaginal Birth after 2 Cesareans). I would probably have to go to a midwife/home birth situation to attempt this (or find a far-away doctor who would take me as a patient), and I was not comfortable with these options. I was very excited to be having this baby, and very ready for the delivery. I enjoyed all of it! The recovery was a breeze.

My husband caught this amazing moment on his camera phone. I wanted to share it with you.  (This is short, and not too graphic.)

If you find yourself in a similar situation, (facing an unplanned c-section, especially if it is the birth of your first child and you are scared out of your mind), please know that it's not the end of the world, or anything to feel guilt over. I am at the point now where I can say without shame that I really loved my Cesarean births (at least the last 2 of them)!

My Easter Baby

On April 6th 2012, Good Friday, at 7:07am Leah Catherine was born! Praise God!

The 9 1/2 months was worth the wait! Her birth was via Cesarean, and all went very smoothly. Leah weighed 8 lbs and 10 oz. at birth, my smallest child! I can't believe we have another girl! My husband was by my side for the birth, caught the Big Event on film, and was able to "break the news"... I think I was secretly hoping (for his sake) that it would be a boy, but I am so happy to have another little girl in my life, and besides, now we don't have to paint the baby's room (it is already lavender, and we have a lot of little girls clothes, but no boys.. so it sure makes life easier :-)  We already decided that our next baby, we are definitely finding out the sex in advance. It was kind of fun not knowing this time, but overall, we decided it is better for us to find out in advance, to bond and to prepare.

While I was in the hospital resting, my husband and my sister celebrated Easter at our home with the girls.

And I have to post these pictures of "Big Sister" Layna, holding her new "Little Sister", it just melts my heart...

It is amazing to me how sensitive a 2 year old can be...

We all love our new addition!

HAPPY EASTER EVERYBODY!!!